Horse Thief Barbeque - Down Town: Los Angeles, California

Located smack dab up against the west side of the Grand Central Market in Downtown Los Angeles on Spring St., lies an oasis for those in search of authentic barbeque: Horse Thief BBQ! 

With no indoor seating: only umbrella covered tables on a patio facing the street, available parking: only private lots with "all day" rates, or dinner hours: they are only open for lunch, Horse Thief BBQ doesn't make it easy to be a fan.

What they do to make someone a fan, and they do it exceedingly well, is make top notch barbeque. These two men from Texas, not only know what good brisket is, they know how to make it.

The Brisket was moist and had just the right texture. Its' flavor was subtle, personally, I thought it could do with a little more seasoning, but overall it trumps all the other brisket I have tried in Los Angeles.
 

 There was a wonderful bark present on the meat, redolent with smokey goodness. 

The sausage, also packed with flavor, didn't resemble those mass produced brats or Hot dog textured links you find in a grocery store.

 This link was marbled with bits of seasoning and delicious fat, a true artisan crafting of force meat.

The sauces, two types, couldn't be more different. The first, their go to sauce is a fine example of "Texas pot licker" a dark sauce with a viscosity slightly thicker than Karo syrup. The second, a wispy red tinged vinegar sauce was interesting but seemed out of place. 

As with all traditional Texas barbeque, meats sold by the pound are garnished with sliced white onion and pickle chips (white bread, also very traditional was offered to me, but I declined it).

So if you ever find yourself on the left coast and are with in driving distance of Los Angeles, you MUST make it a point to visit Horse Thief BBQ and get the Brisket! I am not kidding or foolin' you, Horse Thief BBQ's brisket is a near perfect example of why Brisket is considered the criterion of barbeque. If you don't try Horse Thief BBQ's brisket, you will have one more regret to morn from your death bed as you count the missed pleasures of life.

The RATING:

Appearance: 9 out of 10
Taste: 9 out of 10
Texture: 9 out of 10
27/30 = 90% A

Mom's Barbeque - Valley Village, California

So perhaps you might remember the old adage, there is nothing like Mom's cooking? Well, I am here to tell you that if Mom's BBQ House in Valley Village, California  was my mom, I would have starved in early childhood. To call this barbeque is accurate, to call this great barbeque or even good barbeque is slander against barbeque.  If Soul Food and Barbeque had an illegitimate child, its name sake would be Mom's bbq house. 
 

Sure, there are the ubiquitous protein standards: pork, beef, chicken, ribs: pork and beef, and hot links. And they have bbq sauce, I know because it was everywhere!

 

However, the food was over cooked and swimming in sauce. 

 
The sides either came straight out of a can or tub or freezer. It was bad, bad, bad. If you are ever near Mom's and want real  BBQ, drive in any direction away from Mom's as fast as you can and I'm sure you will find better.

The RATING:
Appearance: 6 out of 10
Taste:             5 out of 10
Texture:         5 out of 10
16/30 = 53% = F

The Bear Pit BBQ: Mission Hills, California

There times when nostalgia plays tricks on you and then there are those wonderful times when in fact nostalgia is right on the mark. The Bear Pit BBQ in Mission Hills, California, thankfully is the latter rather than the former for me. 


Every time I go, the first time being 1984 to the most recent in 2014, I get the Bear Pit SPECIAL. Sure they have lots of other fare to select from, including ribs, chicken, beef, pork, and hot links. But why should I mess with blissful gustatory perfection? At the Bear Pit, I can have one of the best BBQ sandwiches in California, nay the county! 

The Bear Pit SPECIAL is a BBQ sandwich like no other I have encountered on my travels across the vast country. Its two large slices of garlic toast for the bread. Then there is a generous amount of sliced ham and sliced beef with just a little of the Bear Pit BBQ sauce spread on each slice of garlic toast. 

Over the past 30 years I've devoured the Bear Pit SPECIAL, it has remained a stalwart in this ever changing world.  

 The Bear Pit certainly do it "old school". When tasting the consistency in their product and looking at their wood fired brick pits you can see why they are still around.

 THE RATING:
 Appearance: 
9 out of 10
Taste:            
9 out of 10
Tenderness:
8 out of 10

26/30 = 87% (+5% for keeping it "old school") =      92% : A-
 If you are anywhere near the 405 and 118, follow your nose to one of the best sandwiches around.

Uncle John's BBQ Memphis, Tennessee

Uncle John's outside Memphis, Tennessee is just what I love to see...a mom and pop operation in a converted building doing it old school. They offered all the right product and smoked it all outside in a off set smoker, using a mixture of hard woods. Everything was looking good for some righteous barbeque, and I was hungry!

 Then I tried it. What I learned was that, even with this going for them, the proprietors of Uncle John's BBQ didn't have a clue as to what good barbeque is, much less great barbeque.
 
The chopped pork sandwich was mediocre. All I was able to taste was the sauce they had all over the meat. There was nary a porcine flavor to be found and any smoke imbued during the cooking process had been lost long ago. 

As for the ribs, well they were redolent with smoke, but that was it! It was, as if, the mere mention of seasonings, rub, or even salt were forever frowned upon. Oh, there was bark, but it had an almost acrid note from being smoked too long. The rib's over smoking had, at least, led to a tender product, if only I could have enjoyed such tender meat. Alas, the abhorrent  acrid taste coupled with the utter lack of seasoning made that an impossible proposition. 

Rating:

Appearance: 6 out of 10
Taste: 3 out of 10
Tenderness: 8 out of 10

 
Score: 56% (plus 5% for trying it old school): 61%  D-

The Salt Lick: Austin International Airport

Known as "the last barbeque in Texas," the Salt Lick's satellite location, located inside Austin's International Airport, is just that, a kiss of barbeque before you have to depart. Certainly better than most airport culinary fare, the Salt Lick serves up both Breakfast and Lunch/Dinner items.  They offer sliced or chopped brisket, quartered or pulled chicken, sliced turkey, link sausage, pulled pork, and the traditional selection of sides for accompaniment. 

If you find yourself in Texas, don't go for the pork! This is brisket territory and any Pitmaster around these parts should know how to smoke a brisket. That said, this "satellite" is certainly not the original in Driftwood, Texas. Sure, if you are hungry and don't want the average fare found in airports, try them out. The sausage is decent, brisket is fair, the sides are alright. 

What is the most interesting thing about the Salt Lick is their sauce. The original sauce has a tamarind base. This ingredient adds not only sweetness, but a unique flavor profile not found elsewhere. If you are not familiar with tamarind as a sauce ingredient, I recommend the Salt Lick's original sauce as a prime example. 

 So now, down to brass tacks....the rating!

Appearance:     8 out of 10
Taste:               6 out of 10
Tenderness:      6 out of 10
                        20/30 = 66% (+5% for the unique and flavorful sauce) =           71% : C-

Back...with a vengeance!

So I'm back. It has been almost four years in the making, but I have hundreds of barbeque restaurant reviews to show for it. While crisscrossing this majestic country of ours in search of truly awesome barbeque, I've become somewhat jaded having encountered a dearth of outstanding barbeque. Now the commercial barbeque landscape is not a desert, while there are some true keeps of the flame out there, the majority of restaurants I came across in my wanderings were fair at best and most were contemptible. 

My standards for authentic American regional barbeque are not unfair or unattainable. I have worked as a Pitmaster for national barbeque chains, as well as "mom and pop" single locations; judged numerous KCBS barbeque competitions all over the country; I have been trained by and exposed to some of the world's best Pitmasters. I know what it takes to make awesome barbeque both on the contest circuit and on a consistent basis for commercial operations. 

I am not here to pull any punches or wax poetically on a local favorite. I will tell you like it is, straight forward, the good and the bad.

Hopefully, after reading my reviews, you will not do what I have done and throw good money at bad barbeque. Take my advice and sidestep, bypass, or eschew the Wanna Be Pitmasters and Posers. Follow me to the righteous shrines of "Q" and together, we will all be a little more BARBEQUISH.